What 10 years in Real Estate taught me about life, health and Happiness

(and ultimately made me a better Coach and Business Woman (Mom and Wife too):

"You? ........A Realtor?"

 

Those who know me know a few things about my personality,  likes and dislikes - and from these had the above question when they heard in the early 2000’s that I was entering the world of Real Estate. You don’t know what you don’t know…..and boy did this ideology come in handy when I decided this career path.

 

Lessons learned ranged from confidence to boundaries; confrontation-busting to problem-solving; gaining courage and ignoring fear - and knowing the UTTER importance of dealing with stressful situations (and thus health).

 

Heres’ why:

Personality: my personality is all about love, peace and harmony. Bringing people together and creating all that is happy.  And ….. if I’m honest sometimes that means I was a tad soft and here and there couldn’t really say “no” to people for fear of thinking I’d upset them.

 

Here I was entering into a career which would push me to my limits on these and more; force me out of my comfort zone where I’d have to say the dreaded “no” sometimes and knowing home buying and selling didn’t always go in your client’s favour.

 

Likes: I LOVED and still do love - and need my downtime.  It’s important for recharging; for family life; for health and self….and so I decided to dive right on in……

Pfft! Downtime as a Realtor? Yeah….. right….. (it “can” be done however - keep reading).

 

Dislikes:

C-O-N-F-R-O-N-T-A-T-I-O-N: Need I say more? 
Never had really perfected the art of having any kind of confrontation without my knees knocking, sweat trickling and shaking from the inside out….

 

And yet somehow I figured getting into real estate was the thing to do.  A career that sometimes would call upon a bit of a confrontation (or…..standing up for client’s best interest) and me putting my big-girl-panties on.

 

Some people may have previously considered me a “wet noodle” but I have this theory.  Since I’ve been through some health stuff and they taught me in life a LONG time ago what is important and what isn’t. Where my energy should go and not. And honestly….if someone irks me; does something annoying or is trying to be difficult - I literally (and quickly) go through a checklist in my head:

Is this important?  Is this worth pushing back on? Will this be important to me in 10 years, 1 year, 1 month.  And if it’s a no to any - I will not pursue.  I’m not putting my energy there.  So it also saves me from some confrontations that could make my knees knock lol.
However……if I am pushed; as in really have to (ie, for the benefit of my child…watch out; Bear Mom appears), then I’ll do it. Only then.

 

Yet here’s the thing: I wouldn’t change this experience for anything had I known more. Actually…”NOT” knowing more was the best thing that happened here.

I remember the day as a young Mom that my Hubby called down the stairs: “Hey Honey…. wanna go into real estate together?”. Me…. sitting on our front step outside in the sun; enjoying the rays, not a care in the world shouted back up without batting an eyelid “sure!”.

I had decided that when our Son was going to school full-time that I’d work outside the home; my Husband had finished his MBA (I always say thank GOODNESS our son got my sport & fitness ability and my husband’s math brain lol….he’d be screwed the other way around

So we were both looking for something we could do together.  And together we did. From the months of education and taking courses together to working as a Team. A successful team at that.

(Side note: we often had people asking us in genuine incredulity: “You guys WORK together? How is your marriage?!).

 

Um; we do; we enjoy doing so AND not only do we still LOVE each other but we still LIKE each other   It can be done….

 

So, here we were….working in real estate.  And the life lessons began.  Did I honestly,  deep-down “enjoy” this career? Nope. 

 

Did I wake up daily thinking how lucky I was to be a realtor and that I’d always wanted this since a young girl?

Nope. Nurse was where it was at until I had my tonsils out at 9…. damn tonsils.)

Had I thought this out?

Nope.  Not at all as can be seen by a few paragraphs above.

Would I change the experience? NO.  Not at all.

And here’s why: This career strengthened me. In ways that I hadn’t known it would. Ways that today make me still a better human being for them.

The ten things I learned about life from this career:

1. Say yes, think about it later.

• • Had I (we) known what went into being a Realtor I can honestly say I never would have touched the career (and hence missed out on the lessons).
    1. What I thought the work of a realtor was: grab a coffee, sit in someone else’s home for a few hours wearing oh-so-awesome clothes and get paid TONS of money for doing what I loved; talking to people.
    2. WHAT IT WAS (is) and more: Working l-o-n-g days (typically could have done 24-hour sprints but this I felt was too much; I wasn’t a neuroscientist for crying out loud); phone work, showings, offers at midnight, some crying (I tell ya some clients could be frustratingly selfish); negotiating, holding client hands, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork, project management (literally); paying LOTS of the money earned to others, keeping little of it (people think real estate is an easy job for lots of money - even I did before the career; if you knew half of what a realtor has to do daily AND pay out to others from each offer, you’d re-consider trying to get them down on commission. Seriously), open houses, driving people around and this is just the start of the list…..
    3. Got a back-bone.

1. • • That “Confrontation” thing? Came up. A lot. And I don’t mean negatively; but real estate is all about asking, confronting, getting what you need for your clients. So I had to get my brave on. And this was one of the best things I could’ve learnt about life.
     • Shut my eyes; sit on my hands, maybe even hold my breath a bit…. and just SAY IT.  I found a new-found strength.

1. Learned the art of negotiation; knowledge of PERSONALITIES is key!  THIS WAS THE BIGGEST THING I learnt in Real Estate and THE REASON WHY I was meant to do this for a career for a while…

• • I mean….doesn’t every potential Mom, parent, woman need to learn how to negotiate?
  • And it truly is an art. An honest, sometimes-diplomatic, careful and empowered art.
  • Before real estate I could have a conversation with someone and if they seemed a bit “off”, not into the conversation or something else my mine went a million miles a minute wondering what *I* had done to piss them off? I questioned everything about me and worried endlessly about this.

• ENTER MOMENT of ENLIGHTENMENT: It wasn’t me.  Well it sort of was but not in a way I thought. I hadn’t pissed them off per se but I am a certain personality (remember above? I LOVE LOVE LOVE everyone and everyone to be happy. Peace and harmony….that? That’s my personality.
• But what I learned was everyone has a different one and not everyone has mine. Take my Hubby for instance, he’s analytical. Loves and wants to know numbers, statistics, ROI on stuff and research, research, research……
• So imagine me….. talking with someone about a home and telling them all the things they’d “love” about it; all the beautiful memories they could make there; how pretty this room and that yard are…..
• But all my analytical client wants to know is friggin’ room size, how much investment return they’ll get and what the best furnace is to put in?

See my point? I was talking to everyone as if they were all like me when in fact I had to figure out what personality they were (and …. turns out I’m pretty good at that #thanksdad)…..

and speak to them in THAT language.

 

#gamebloodychanger.

  Learned the art of networking:  

• • • I have always had no problem talking with people. Love being around them and am fuelled (on “my time” when I have the energy I’m all social; when I need my quiet, I need my quiet).
    • Networking is talking in a genuine, other-person-centred, non-salesy way; it’s creating what I call a “heart-centred” community around you and as a result succeeding in business, creating fabulous relationships in business (that I still have to this day) and supporting those around you. It’s also fostering such trust - that you end up not having to ask for business.

 

Created boundaries/ said no:  

• • HUGE. FULL-TRANSPARENCY HERE: still a work-in-progress but definitely getting there.  I am definitely good at my boundaries “most” of the time however I’ve also noticed when I let them get the better of me (see next point) so have my plan for that. 
  • Learning about boundaries however was huge since you could have people literally phone you at 2 in the morning if they felt like it (happened but luckily I was heeding my “boundary” advice and NEVER took my phone into our bedroom).

  Understood Stress: get it under control.  

• • • Know a career that could be full of stress if you let it? Real estate.  Knowing and understanding both *what* stress really is (hint: it’s NOT the situation) and *how* to manage it (ie, YOU, your thoughts, your actions) is key.
    • This one I learnt in a big way. HAD to learn in a big way.
    • Having been a Realtor and now a Health and Life Coach? I could help any Realtor create a lifestyle that helps them be in control of it instead of the other way around.

 

Email me below and let’s talk... or more: let's excitedly chatter and toss around ideas that will help you feel better the moment you hang up the phone (I'm giving away my age, aren't I?!).

  Shut. the. door: many realtors work from home.   

• • • Learning to shut the door then; having my “workspace” as a designated area was key.
    • If you keep your workspace at your island in the kitchen - you will ALWAYS connect the island with it and feel like you are constantly working.
    • When you designate another area; and keep it separate from fun, family, quiet, de-stressing time for you…. then “that” space and that alone will be where you work and you can help yourself switch off everywhere else.

 

FRIENDS: this above point is CRUCIAL.

Keeping things in perspective for others.  

• • • We can think we can or can’t and are right. We can also think something is awful or hopeful - and be right.  Sometimes clients were selling because of their situation; not because of a wish to. It was keeping these clients looking forward and toward hope than what wasn’t happening for them.
    • DURING the CURRENT TIMES we are in - this knack has been essential.
    • Learning to focus on what we CAN control instead of what we can’t.

    Didn’t give up.Kept asking til happy.  

• • • The old “other” me who didn’t like confrontation? Would have previously perhaps stopped at the first answer from someone - even if it didn’t sit well for fear of upsetting the apple cart in asking more.
    • My days in real estate; my clients were like my children: their well-being, happiness and success in the time they worked with me - was UP to me in part.  So asking only once wasn’t an option if I smelled a rat (and let me tell ya; I often smelled a rat.  I learned to keep on asking until I was happy I had “the” answer. Often others (typically the ones who had something to hide) got a bit exasperated by this, but ya know what?
    • EVERY single time I asked, asked and asked again….. *those* were the properties that when my clients moved in - it was great that I had.  So listen to that gut of yours friends.

 

And,

 Sometimes the best advice comes from small conversations in parking lots - as well as the lesson that competition is good:  

Often, we would be walking into the office and bump into another Realtor; what we found was often the "top producers" would have a great conversation and share their knowledge; not worrying about keeping it close to their chest for fear of losing business. When you are good at what you do; confident in yourself and services - you don't need to worry about others in the biz (and this too relates to what I do today; lots of coaches yet we all offer something slightly different).  The ones willing to share their wisdom in those quick conversations were so appreciated - and they too taught me much about business, mentorship, leadership and having confidence in what we do.

There's lots of business to go around

So as you can see - the 10 years I had in real estate were life-teaching and life-changing.  My Husband and I were successful; known for our honesty and won awards but at the end of the day as much as I liked doing what I did to help others - I didn’t want it to be with homes.

 

After 10 years I literally sat down and just “thought”.  Let things bubble up; was I happy? Was this for me?

 

What would I really like to do when I grew up?

 

And without a doubt I knew it was taking all I’d learned about life, people, business, self-development and pair it with my ABSOLUTE love of helping others and wellness. And here I am more than 12 years later in this role. #lovewhatIdo

 

If you are looking for help in any of the areas mentioned above; if you want lifestyle-focussed coaching (ie, productivity, goalsetting, planning, mindset, inner leader skills, communication and more - CONTACT ME BELOW.

If you are looking for healthy-lifestyle-focussed Coaching I do that too as a Certified Health Coach - we can plan a wellness strategy from beginning to end or focus on just one aspect.

 

If you want to pair these? I will adapt my program “Live, Sweat, Sparkle” to YOU and your needs.

 

Email me and let’s do a quick sparkle session; talking where you are now and where you want to go.

 

After all, the sky’s the limit my friend. I can't wait to help you see this.

xo