Have you ever had one of “those” times where you meet someone – whether you see them much or not – and the hour with them is so invaluable you want and need to shout out about it from the rooftops? An hour that was free, yet probably a defining moment for you and so valuable – you would have paid for this wisdom elsewhere yet her friendship gave her a need to offer?
This was my today.
And this is my “who”. Lori Schmidtke of Klassquared. (check out her link below)…
And if it’s upside down? Well….this just says it all about me. I’ve added and re-added this photo. It “shows up” at my end the right way up. I check it out on my computer; fine. I stick the link in instagram and twitter….and the photo is upside down. So….just know; this explains it all about me. Imperfect, funny…..and real. We look just as giggly the right way up. Gotta go with the flow sometimes….. Technology and I definitely have a love-hate thing going on.
We sort of look like we’re laughing at a dirty joke, don’t we? Really, we weren’t. We were laughing at my short arms that make for not-so-great selfies. But….love the pictures that sometimes come from something laughable.
Back to how incredibly helpful she was today. Her honesty….her genuine-ness (is that a word?) and her absolute only goal was to help me. Hope she understands how helpful she was (really. I’m writing a blog about it…it was huge for me). I hope my ‘story’ today perhaps helps someone in the same boat; or … gets you thinking about your why too.
I’m going to be utterly honest here. My heart is the size of Massachusetts (honestly, I have no idea how big that is, but for some reason it was the first place that popped into my head…so I hope Mass is massive. Lol.). I want to help everyone.
This is nothing new. It’s been me since I was a little girl when I was living in England…walking along a path at the top of the village common (green) and kept following this ancient man (to an 8 year old he was; poor guy was probably only 70) to ask him what he was looking for; what had he lost. He was walking back and forward, bent over. Searching.
So I thought.
I found out weeks later when I saw him doing the same thing; that he was not searching. That was his body. He was hunched over and just trying to get some fresh air. No wonder he was rather exasperated with this little girl.
But you get the picture, no?
I want to help everyone. I literally, honestly, genuinely HURT when others around me hurt; or when I see articles in the paper, or items on the news – about people suffering. This was one big reason I created my BRING IT events for girls and their Mom/Caregiver/Mentor. Without going into the details I’d come through a LOT health wise, and confidence, worry, anxiety, etc….wise – and finally “got it”. So I wanted to help girls understand life sooner – so they wouldn’t go through the same. So they wouldn’t hurt.
In the meantime I think I sort of lost myself.
I’m not talking about personally. Personally – I thrive. Literally. LOVE my family, am SO blessed to have my Man, my Son…and everyone else. And….I’ve got so many incredible people in my life who are family to me. So many…more than some who are by blood. And this is where Lori comes in.
Where I lost myself was in my “what”. In my focus. I want to help so many people that I create, I offer, I “do”, I organize, I blah, blah, blah. I’m busier than stink as most people are. I’m trying to “do it all” and yet there’s only one little ole’ me. I want to offer things to help in every direction. I see someone hurting? I’m there. I see someone suffering? I’ve got a plan for you. I see someone flailing; unhappy; unhealthy…….I’m yerrrr gal.
So you can see my dilemma. I’ve become this woman floating in the wind. I DO offer much. I DO put a lot of events, workshops, speaking out there. But ….. I’d lost my exact “WHAT”. Until today.
I’ve taken a few days off this week funnily enough to sit back, create, re-think and FOCUS on who I truly wish to help, to impact, to make a difference in and to inspire. Don’t get me wrong; this list is still super long, but Lori helped me dramatically. Yes. Dramatically. It just so happened we had a coffee organized for today. I wanted to ask her about her business and something we might be able to collaborate on in the future and yet she sat down.…..and asked me these 12 simple words:
What. Do. You. Do? I mean, Who. Are. You. Trying. To. Help.???
She didn’t ask me exactly like that with all those periods…but … had to have some effect there; for this was PROFOUND to me.
I couldn’t really answer at first. Well. I could. But it was oh so long. So….how would I shorten it? Who DO I want to ultimately help. WHAT am I trying to do? What’s my why? Why’s my what? And everything in between. Her honesty was incredible. I think she was a bit worried I’d be offended, but friends here’s the thing: we can’t let honesty and help from the heart offend us. She is representing hundreds if not more – everyday (yet oh-so-sparkly) women out there and if she’s thinking this, then I’ll bet she’s not the only one. So to me…..Advice, wisdom, honesty, constructive criticism; however you wanna wrap it up – for me, I say, friends:
Bring It on…..
She’s actually not the first person lately who’s asked me this. She’s also not the first person who’s offered their thoughts on what I should do. I’ve got my Bestie who has said the very same thing; my Hubby, my Son………many. What I appreciated about her though was this is someone who I know and love; we don’t see each other much but that doesn’t change this fact – and she came with courage. She had no idea how I’d react, but was willing to put herself on the line to still ask me.
My success and happiness…..meant more to her than her uncertainty of how I’d react to her questions.
One of my top priorities with people is genuineness. I am ONLY genuine and utterly transparent with others. I won’t hold back (used to) on my opinions anymore (always respectful however) and I will speak up to and for someone if it will help them. I try to follow up with all I say and offer (I know I fail sometimes, but it’s never from being disingenuous and I’ll always be honest about my shortcomings…it’s typically time or health that get in the way). I am honest when people ask me things. I am ONLY out to support those I know and love – and there’s never an ulterior motive. Funnily enough, I’ve come across people in my life who actually took this as fake. Only because I think they’d not necessarily come across it before in their life or line of work…..and lumped me in that world. But nope. What you see is what you get; good, bad, sparkly, wrinkly, bad-hair-days, good-hair-days (usually RIGHT before I get a hair cut…..); tears, smiles, (oh…ugly tears sometimes…..) and the rest. But….you get “me”. I’ll be honest about my journey with you; my struggles and oh-so-much more.
I am so grateful for those in my life who are the same. It’s easy, oh so easy to smell “non-genuine” a mile away. And I smell it lol. I’m like my Dad and proud to be…. reading people is my thang and knowing genuine from not is easy to pick out 🙂 So I’m all the more grateful whenever someone comes forth to be open, honest, full of wisdom and help; just purely for the sake of it.
So you are probably wondering what my answer was?
Well….I can answer you partly here and the rest you’ll have to wait a bit on. I’m so excited I’m creating – and when it’s ready to go, I’m going to let the world know. But in short, it’s this:
What I “am” on paper is this:
- An American Council on Exercise-Certified Health Coach (pretty proud of this one….);
- A CFP Personal Trainer
- A CCF Coach
- An ACE-Certified Weight Management Specialist
- An NLP Master Practitioner
So. I’m a “Coach” right? Well…that’s where my struggle comes in. I “know” there a million and one coaches out there. And incredible Coaches at that! So, yes, on paper that’s what I “do”. But who I help? Who I wish to help? Who I wish to inspire? MUCH bigger questions and responses. At the end of the day I feel I am and wish to be….so much more; but how do you put that into words. A name? I want to help:
WOMEN. I help women. Of ALL ages. I feel many women are struggling in health, life, mind, body, family, work…..
- If they aren’t healthy, they certainly ain’t completely happy or confident.
- If they aren’t happy…..are they completely healthy? Since to me, the MIND is part of being healthy.
- If family life, doing it all, being it all; trying to find time and not having enough for them at the end of the day are a struggle; are they happy, relaxed?
- If anxiety, stress, and so much more are at the forefront and they don’t see a way out; are they healthy? happy? confident?
- If they don’t have time to think, pee, or spend five minutes alone, do they need help with time?
- If they are breaking down (been there, done that…..) in tears due to trying so much; are they coping?
So I help women. I help them be Healthy, Happy and rock the Confidence.
If they are healthy and happy; those around them are. Their kids are.
If kids are; we are building a next generation who can cope; be creative, be healthy; be happy, confident.
So…..you can see why it took me so long to answer Lori’s questions. But. It SO put me on the right track to focus.
2018 is the year of focus. I’m gearing up to put all those sparkly eggs in one basket……and am out to inspire, educate, empower and motivate as many as possible.
And Lori; thank you for asking those 12 little words…..with punch!
Want to know more about Lori? Click here to see her beautiful creations: Klassquared Jewelry.
Coach Carolyn x