Do you know what you are capable of? Do you hold yourself back? Do you ever sit and wonder…..
I’ve been working with a couple of clients this week who both in different ways had self limiting thoughts….which were holding them back from going into “the unknown”.
I for one have experience here: for years felt a “need” in me to offer confidence/ impactful events for others; something which was useful…that helped people grow, learn, gain support…yet was so scared. Fear encompassed me. It was the unknown for sure: would I succeed? would people talk about me (negatively…oh my!)? would I be the laughing stock in the Community for having tried something I’d never done before? It was my ego speaking. One other big fear: would I make myself sick by doing this and worrying about all of these ego-inspired fears? I have health concerns and these always come into play…sometimes though I think they held me back.
The day I woke up and decided to just go for it was life changing.
As I went through the process of organizing the first then second (now third) Bring It for girls (with one for boys and uni students in the works!), the need to make a difference overtook the need to be “perfect”. Don’t get me wrong; I’m a worrier and always will be. But I’m learning to keep this at bay; under wraps…only to show it’s face when I’m really not on top of things. It’s hard…..almost as hard as only eating one chocolate covered almond for me….but I’m working on it!
So back to my Clients. One: her self limiting belief was (we’ve managed to change it through our coaching) “I’m never going to be small, fit, thin….I’m always going to go up and down in weight…..just resigning myself to the fact”. WRONG! By deciding what she had; she wasn’t allowing her to see her successes (of which there have been many); wasn’t allowing herself to even be happy, proud and feel accomplished and certainly wasn’t willing to set any goals…why do it? We had success changing how she looked at this.
It’s not about being small, being thin. Some of us are muscled creatures (I’m good and solid myself, but fit as a fiddle and strong! My weight and size doesn’t come into it anymore – since if I’m honest they so used to). It’s about learning good habits; putting the right practices into place and creating a healthy lifestyle with goals, passion, things to look forward to. She found she certainly has been able to lose weight, be fit, feel empowered and do things that before she would never have dreamed possible. Once she stopped holding herself back…the sky was the limit.
I suggested to find a reason to exercise (other than to be fit and healthy – we all know that but do we all do it?!). If you are training for a triathlon…you now have reason to get up and do something each day. The bonuses which come with that apart from the obvious are endless; improved health, more energy, meeting new like-minded people and confidence. MAN! you feel confident when you feel fit and strong! When this woman, who previously had no ambition, passion and sadly little hope in herself – decided she wanted to do a 10K race – well I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face!
By pushing her own limits aside…by moving past her “normal” and into unknown territory, she has opened her life up to endless possibilities. On top of it all; she’s proud of herself…much happier and understands she doesn’t have to live by the thought that “she’ll never be thin”. Only good things can happen to your body when you are eating well and exercising for a purpose.
Too many people just don’t start since they don’t believe. And they never know what they are missing out learning about themselves on this incredible journey.
My second client constantly would stop as soon as she tried any exercise. She didn’t think she was doing it right so would stand up (yet I’m there to guide her, watch her, analyze her); she didn’t think she could fully do the move correctly so would stop. This was completely holding her back from becoming stronger and going for more. How can you have a great, challenging training session when you constantly stop for fear of not being able to complete it? On her own she’d never increased her resistance past 5lbs since in her mind she would not be able to do the exercise, would stop, and hence never improved her strength and abilities. If she was doing this with her exercise plan, it was surely overflowing into her practices for life!
Crazy! The stuff she’s doing now with some guidance is light years ahead of what she wasn’t doing before. There is no “can’t” with me and she certainly can’t avoid doing something because of her self limiting ideas.
So this stuff isn’t about exercising the body to me. (Obviously..it is in a way but you get my drift): it’s about re-training the mind. It’s about getting rid of self limiting thoughts that hold you back. And it’s having that “gonna try it regardless!” mentality. Who cares if you’ll look a fool (in your mind!), or not be able to complete something (start…it’s a baseline!) or fail miserably at something (hey! it’s never a failure; it literally IS a learning opportunity; how will you EVER know what you can do if you hold yourself back?
Stop worrying about what you can’t do and start imagining what you CAN do.
— I was so scared of organizing a confidence conference event for girls but something made me lean into that fear one day. I was just going to try. 220+ girls to each event so far; 25 general volunteers, 50 volunteer bring it guides (young women; mentors) – tv, radio, university and financial institutions all behind us on this; something incredible was born – something that would help inspire the next generation to go for it, to love themselves, to do it regardless. And what I learnt about myself? Holy cow….too long a list to go into. Had my self limiting thoughts won out, this never would have occurred, young girls wouldn’t have benefitted, the Community wouldn’t have been able to give to something worthwhile – and I wouldn’t have learnt how EASY it is to lean in to fear.
When it’s worthwhile doing…it’s so worthwhile just saying “what the heck” and doing it regardless of any fear or self limiting thoughts.
You have so much to offer the world…..push those self limiting thoughts aside and pull the unknown toward you regardless of what the outcome will be.
It’s time to believe in YOU. (And below…see what we’d have missed out on, had fear won???)…..
#believeinyou #selflimitingnomore #youarewhatyoubelieve
For more info on Bring It! Youth Impact Conferences, head over to my Contact page and send me a note! We can bring one to you!