In today’s day and age it seems so much focus is put on weight and appearance. And with the advent of social media, it’s become so easy (and prevalent) for those “built that way” to be mean, to be able to comment, judge and crush all in one foul swoop with a few clicks of the keyboard.
We see “beauty” everywhere we look. We see people leading perfect lives delivered to our inbox or feed minute by minute and time and again the number on the scale is focussed on way too much.
Let’s talk about weight for a minute:
It’s a number: it is not “us”
- It is more useful as our indication of our gravitational pull to the earth than it is to our worth.
- It can go up or down significantly depending on our fluid intake/ retention, our hormones, our activity.
- We are not going to weigh what we did when we were in high school, before we had kids or any other milestone that had our bodies change with age. Yet we so often want to weigh that 120 pounds we were at 15 (I’ll say now: I was NEVER lucky enough to be 120 pounds)
- We tell our girls to love themselves; they are beautiful; they can do anything. Yet how many women do you hear in their next breath complaining about their jiggle or putting themselves down to their friends?
- To put weight in context, have you ever seen the image: a strong, lean man – who’s weight is 300 lbs alongside a larger, unfit, overweight man – who also weighs 300 lbs? It’s a good way to help us realize that weight can vary and we shouldn’t focus so much on it. (don’t get me wrong; if my Clients want to measure their weight as part of their all-over measurements along with body parts, body fat, Waist-Hip Ratio, BP and more…. I’m all for it. The more info, the better. But I don’t have my clients focus ONLY on this one to the point it becomes of too much importance to them.)
Nothing is going to change unless we do. As they say, girls need to see the role models they wish to be.
So a few tips:
When watching tv (with or without the girl in your life; they hear even when they aren’t “there”): use language when commenting on anyone that is focussing on anything but their weight.
When someone pays you a compliment, say thank you. Period. Especially in front of your daughter/son. We can get so used to being self-deprecating and honestly I used to do this thinking I was SO funny…but…we embrace this and it becomes our second-nature response and our kids hear this. Be confident and take the compliment as the gift it was.
When talking about health; getting “fit” – do it for reasons other than weight and talk this way with your kids: do it to be healthy, fit, happy, STRONG, capable, able, resilient, calm and sooo many other reasons.
When talking about your body in anyway; don’t put it down. Show it the love.
When talking about food – make it about the health benefits. Cutting down sugar isn’t about the pounds; make it about the healthy life you are creating. The opportunity to hold disease/ illness at bay. The ability to sleep better; have glowing skin…etc, etc.
Don’t threaten with food. Take “finish your dinner or else” out of the repertoire if it’s there. Avoid using dessert as a treat if they “finish”.
If a sibling makes a comment about their brother/sister that is in any way weight or appearance-related; let them know that language isn’t used in your home and have them say three positive things about that sibling.
And if your child is overweight, unfit, etc…..create healthy lifestyle living in a way that everyone in the family is part of so no one child is singled out. Help your child(ren) find activities they enjoy – that they will look forward to – this takes them far in life.
And talk to them. About school, friends, discussions, pressures with these things – find out what is going on, how they feel and get them involved in the solution.
We want our homes to be the safe spaces they are meant to be in EVERY sense of the word. And the word literally.
Want help with yourself or the girl(s) in your life? Contact me by Clicking HERE: I’d love to help!