Have you ever stopped and listened to what words you use – when talking about yourself with other people? Or…in a moment of silence, do you reflect upon what and how you are thinking about yourself? When you look in the mirror, do you appreciate what you see or look only at the faults you perceive?
You are what you believe. Down to a cellular level. And boy, women can tend to speak so negatively about themselves. The more we think this, the more we believe. The more we believe the more we become. And so it goes.
I completely take responsibility. Thought I was showing my “humility” by being funny; by making fun of myself. I also thought I’d point out to other people my flaws – before they could see them, since they COULD see them couldn’t they? It was pointed out to me one day how I was. A friend of mine was with me when I was offering a workshop and pointed out how many times I put myself down (or to me…was just being hilariously funny ABOUT myself). I was rather shocked – and not in a good way. That was a game changing day for me. It made me understand that not only was I not being funny about myself. I wasn’t really being funny. I was made to realize that not only was it not funny, but it could be tiresome. To constantly be around someone who puts themself down and doesn’t see the value in themselves is no joke and I saw this in myself.
Something else it made me realize. What we say to and about ourselves, the younger generation hear. We may say to our daughter “Sally…you are lovely the way you are, don’t put so much emphasis on your weight, looks, blah blah blah”….yet in the next minute Sally hears us say something negative about ourself to our friend who complimented us. What’s with that anyway? Why do we find it so hard to say just thank you. Period? That’s a topic for another day….. So we completely went against our advice to poor Sally; and she now grows up thinking negative talk about herself is the way to go and that actually…her legs really SHOULD be smaller since Mom’s always wishing this of herself. Get the picture? Check out his article to see what I mean: http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/10/07/353292408/why-saying-is-believing-the-science-of-self-talk
So, once I’d had this pointed out…and it had me thinking on a deeper level about it, I began on a journey to try to decrease my negative self-talk as much as possible. And you know what happened? My confidence soared, I was still funny in my own way (gotta keep humour in there!) and I started to see my potential. To admit it to myself – and to understand what I have to offer others. Its was liberating. I wanted to help other women understand that negative self talk is not only something we need to stop, but it’s harmful to both us and our kids who hear it.
With the pressures out there in today’s world, and with so many opinions, judgements and challenges. Your own voice matters. The MOST important voice to you – about you – is your own. How can others know the awesome that you offer, if you don’t believe it yourself.
It takes a good friend to be honest and point these things out, and I’m so glad mine did. Believe me, if you know someone who speaks negatively about herself, you’re doing her the biggest favour by pointing it out.
Embracing Your Awesome…Engaging Your Shine!