How are you today?  I tell you, I’m feeling pretty pumped – to put it mildly.  You see I’ve been on a high lately; making transitions to bigger and better things, creating new opportunities which have come through, and most of all doing so much, that I didn’t stop to think.  And when I did; when I had the time to just sit, the problems began.  The doubts crept in…..and I began to have what we call “imposter syndrome”.

Now, here’s the funny part (and we’ll return to why I’m feeling pumped).  I was doubting myself, my abilities, my offerings. I was doubting it all.  I have no problem being honest about this, since I hope it will help someone out there who is doubting themselves unreasonably too.  And from what I gather, there are a few of us who do this! This was completely unreasonable of me to feel this way…after all, if I took a step (or a skip!) back and looked at things completely logically, I would have understood I have much behind me that I’ve done, worked hard at, succeeded at, and learnt from any mistakes….yet when I sat with just me, thinking about just me…I talked myself out of what and who I truly am.

Nuts!

So…I learnt a very important lesson yesterday and here’s where I felt the need to write and hope that someone changes their thought process by reading this.  I was on a course….mastermind of sorts on Thursday. When I told them how I felt, they were blown away. Not only that….they’d experienced some events I’d done recently and where I’d seen them as failures (and myself as a failure), they saw the ABsolute opposite! One woman was beside herself trying to emphatically tell me how successful I’d been. See what I mean?

Now, this blog today isn’t about me.  Although it just seems it; there’s a message in all of this I strongly wish to convey……

  • BELIEVE. Believe in yourself and your abilities. You’ve put in the hard work; you have what it takes and if you truly feel you haven’t got the experience behind you, do something about that; perhaps take more courses; get a mentor; join a mastermind…but whatever you do keep believing!
  • Be your BIGGEST Cheerleader.  Don’t sell yourself short. That’s sort of hard when you’re short like me (must infuse humour here and there, no?).  There might be people out there ready to pick holes in you somewhere (after all we know not everyone will be a cheerleader), but you of all people can’t side with them. You must be your biggest cheerleader.
  • SEE yourself through others’ eyes. This is a biggie for me. I was seeing myself through my own eyes.  And it (for some reason) wasn’t good. I’d lost faith in myself (I’ve since heard this is called fear and it’s pretty normal when entering new territory. Who knew??   I’m NORMAL??!!) and was only focussing on what I thought I couldn’t do.  Speaking to others made me see myself through their eyes…and it was quite the eye opener I’ll tell you!  Before you pound your own abilities.….speak to others and see what they have to say; you’ll be so nicely surprised I’m sure!
  • DON’T give up. Just don’t.  You are on the road to something awesome; whatever you are doing. If it’s your passion, you are meant to be doing this. Hit a roadblock? Figure out a way around it, over it, under it…or kick it to the curb. But don’t give up.
  • Still feel like giving up?  Talk to people in your network.  Not only good friends who perhaps you feel might be kinder to you…but to people who know what you do and will give you honest, constructive feedback.
  • You have no idea who you are inspiring!  Really. Truly.  People can keep quiet. Unless it’s a dear friend or loved one who will easily and happily tell you how much you mean to them and highlight your awesomeness…..others can keep quiet. Perhaps they feel they don’t know you well enough to say something; perhaps it’s not in their make up to be outwardly gushing….whatever the reason….some keep quiet. One wonderful woman as an example yesterday had not emailed me to tell me since she thought from my lack of activity on social media that I was too busy and she sweetly didn’t want to bug me (in fact it was my birthday and 20th wedding anniversary; so I took some time off).  She had such hugely supportive things to say, I was blown away and had no idea how she felt. So….you really don’t know who you are silently inspiring there in the background.
  • Fake it til you make it. Lastly…if you aren’t feeling “it”; if you don’t feel super confident today; or you have woken up and found imposter syndrome knocking at your door…..push it aside and fake your confidence! You’ll find it truly works (and the best part? No one else will know you’re doing this!).

You. Yes You: really have so much to offer. Don’t believe it? The moment you have finished reading this, grab your phone….call a friend, then call people in your network and find out for yourself.

Hugs,
Carolyn

Helping Women Shine From the Inside Out!

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