It’s mental health week. And it seems there are many struggles going around; for all ages.

I work primarily with women so will focus on you gals. Again, of all ages.  I get most excited when I’m speaking at Events on this topic, or with others on how to help young women through their struggles. So this is my focus for the rest of the year!

However, for all women understand this: YOU ARE NOT alone.

Ever.

Do you know how many I speak to on a weekly basis, where it comes out that they struggle (like the rest of us it seems) with trying to have it all together? We see on social media of EVERY kind how everyone is happy, perfect, fabulous, gorgeous.

K. Can we get real for a minute or two here?

Research suggests that when we spend too much time on technology, it can affect our mind. Check out this article here to read. I’m going to be fervently honest here (I just felt the need to use the word fervently!)….I know on those days, I’m looking at social media, I come away my most lacking in motivation and self confidence. I feel everyone else is ‘doing’ and I’m not. I’m behind the 8-ball it seems.  On those days I don’t look so much, OH MY! Guess what happens?! I not only FEEL like I’ve got it all together and can do it all….I actually do it all! I have the motivation to do so. I plan, create…move forward and at the end of the day feel like I’ve accomplished so much.

Feeling accomplished is key my friends.

Let’s get back to that point about how everyone else’s lives look perfect. Of course they do!  Who wants to read negativity? No one, right? (or very few). So knowing this, we all want to put happy, positive, faaaaabulous info out there.  Yet sometimes we aren’t actually “doing” what we say we are. Or we aren’t as busy as stated….or as successful as we offer. Not saying we lie; I’m stating that we put our AWESOME days online. So those looking at these awesome days on days they don’t feel so wonderful, feel they are not where they should be…and the downward spiral continues.

So how to get around this? I have a plan!

  • STOP looking at social media so much! You will live. The world will continue turning.
  • For the time you are NOT on social media replace it with something GREAT for your soul….like a good walk!
  • This one was key for me: Look at your days. When do you look at social media? How does it make you feel? Are you energized afterward. NO? Here’s what you do: if it drains you of all energy….write down in your planner EVERY day when you will allow yourself to look at social media. If you find you look in the morning, feel drained and the rest of your day is shot because you’ve wasted time and not produced…..put the end of the day as the time you will look.  A time where it doesn’t matter if you are mucking about doing nothing much! And GIVE YOURSELF A LIMIT! Let’s say one hour.  You’ve not ruined your day from lack of productivity and you can have a lovely evening after.
  • Want to go a step further? There is actually an APP that you can add to your phone and it will lock you out of social media til the time you allow yourself. If you need the help, do it!
  • Still feel bad? Take some time fully off social media and see what it does for your soul; it is liberating.
  • Understand that most are putting the best of their everyday online. The days they look the best, have the best, feel the best.

Best, best, best. But behind the scenes, many other women struggle with the feeling of not producing, not feeling accomplished, not feeling they are ahead of the game. You are not alone!  It’s not a bad thing to put the incredible things in our lives on social media. I love so much that I do, I wish to put it out there. But I’m certainly not going to put negativity out there. That’s just me.

So the next time you even see my posts, understand that I too have days where I struggle behind the scenes. That I too have down days, or where I wake up on the wrong side of the bed.  But…I’m very lucky to have an incredible sparkle tribe around me who brings me back to reality.

Be part of my sparkle tribe! I’d love to have you here! I send out a newsletter monthly – all about helping women, honesty, putting it out there – and letting  you know which events either I’m involved with – or want to give a shout out too; since there are SO many doing SO MUCH good out there!

At the end of the day, girlfriends. LOVE yourself, all you can do, all you are. Understand that you will NOT have it all together some days…but you are HUMAN for that! Understand you are never alone…that you have amazing qualities about you that sparkle!  You rock….and think nothing but this about yourself. (psst: remember you are being watched by younger women and girls….let’s help them grow up strong in their confidence and self love too.

Hugs!

Coach Carolyn x