As I look back at this past week it is with a little bit of “holy cow…what happened?”, a tad of relief…and a whole load of wonder – at what you can accomplish when you don’t give in to fear. To put it mildly it was a roller-coaster kind of week – and not kiddie roller coasters, but OMG massive theme park, scariest roller coaster. But:
From all of this came my need to offer my first blog to help you create the Healthiest, Happiest YOU on control. Without peace of mind we are not healthy; without our health we can’t do much…so it all ties in. Plus, control of your actions, your MIND (imperative), your thoughts and your outcomes are of high importance to moving ahead.
We…own where we are headed. It is within us if we just believe in ourselves enough.
What I took from the past week was however, a priceless lesson: In how you can be tested, but with the right tools succeed; how being afraid is never a bad thing; how sharing with others creates support, understanding and just voicing your concerns makes you feel better and how having – and CREATING control in your life, work, daily activities is KEY to not only your success but your level of stress, anxiety and feelings of empowerment.
When I write….when I talk….I do both from the heart. I’m not a researcher or in the world of academia. What I AM is someone who has been hit with challenges; wasn’t considered to go “far” in life through what were considered things I lacked…yet someone who has watched others intently, has had much self-reflection to see where I am, where I can improve, what I need less of. I’ve read, I’ve watched. I’ve experienced, and I’ve learnt. Of high importance: I’ve lived what I preach. I’m a woman who has come through hard challenges, had my life, my strength, my character, resillience, confidence and self-esteem tested. I’ve come from someone who didn’t realise her potential; to someone who now OWNS it and wants to help other women do the same.
And CONTROL has been a huge part of this.
This week for some reason, I have cried a bit. (Take note, I’m real and I cry…at commercials, parades and singing the national anthem. Once the lip begins trembling it’s gameover friends).
Was I tired? Yep. Was I overwhelmed? Yuppers. Was I willing to figure this out? Hell yeah! I’m sure I’m not the only one who goes through this every now and then. It’s almost like a cleansing of my mind and soul. And I’m willing to “put it out there” since I KNOW others can learn from this too.
I’m reading one of THE best books written in my estimation. (There IS relevance to this book and my topic of control). “The Fearless Mind” by Dr. Craig Allen. Need a good book to help kick you in the butt and go for it? This is it.
Having the week I was having, I decided to read this each morning before I began my day. What I noticed was after reading it, I went from feeling overwhelmed to knowing what I needed to do.
I needed to plan.
I needed to focus.
I needed to take back my control.
You see, my mind had been wandering (this is fatal!) on all I have going on between now and May. Once it was wandering, it went into all I needed to do for everything (not good: doing this JUST in your mind is not recommended!). Then I felt completely helpless and from there wanted to sling it all in (hence the tears…do you feel sorry for my Husband yet?!). How did I get from all I intended to do to help others – my PASSION – to this blob on the kitchen floor? (K..not literally….just rhetorically…).
I’d lost control. I’d lost the focus of what I was doing. Had let go of my plan and needed to go into overdrive to get back to me. So I did.
Ever since almost dying in my 20’s – giving in to ANY fear just isn’t an option for me anymore. When you are looking death in the face….your immediate goal is to do what you can to survive. Something takes over and you do it. Talk about a focus. Talk about a plan. Talk about being in control.
So when life tosses me a challenge – in this case feeling desperately overwhelmed and without what seemed like hope – I sat back. Took stock of things and started to see where I’d fallen off the mountain.
* Instead of looking at each project I had to do on a “first-come, first-served” basis, I had made the fatal mistake of lumping them all together.
* Instead of breaking down EACH project into baby steps which could be overcome day by day, hour by hour and checked off my to-do list, I was looking at the massive todo list for ALL I had to do between now and May.
* Instead of stopping. Sitting. Breathing. Being. I’d turned into this woman who was working without focus and working constantly.
But there is great that comes from this, which I can share with you:
I happened to have a meeting that day with the woman involved in one of my first projects. Without scaring her off, having my quivering lip, I met with her, let the meeting go organically and we shared. Our hopes for the outcome of this project; our dreams for the future of it; our fears and our excitement. Just talking about these things gave me excitement and focus back – and made things seem not so scary after all.
I came home; picked up my incredible book about fear and I read. When you are feeling fearful, out of control, uninspired…pick up a book that has helped you in the past or is helping you – and allow it to re-inspire you; put the fire back in your belly.
I wrote out what I needed to do for JUST THIS project. I broke the items down into smaller pieces. I GAINED FOCUS.
I had taken back the control. I was in control of my thoughts, mindset, inner dialogue (you’ll find when you get overwhelmed things can seem terrible; worse than they really are. You “talk” yourself into this and before you know it you are the BIGGEST failure you’ve known. But it’s just YOU in this discussion so you need to have the mental strength to stop).
By taking back the control, I was back on the path. I know what I need to do. I feel accomplished in what I am doing and have done so far. I feel relieved; my head is clear and when it’s clear I make far smarter, healthier decisions.
Have you been going through this? Do you ever go through this? If so…YOU are your biggest critic and fear-monger. It’s purely because you’ve let the control disappear. Take the steps to gain it back and you’ll prove to yourself – YOU’ve got this.
And that! Will take you on the road to a healthier, happier YOU!
Coach C xx